


5 Times Derek and Stiles Use Handcuffs and 1 Time the Law Is Involved

by Watermelon Wolves (Phnx)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous AU, Deputy Derek, Deputy Derek Hale, Full Shift Werewolves, Handcuffs, Humor, M/M, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-03 06:12:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4090000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phnx/pseuds/Watermelon%20Wolves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I don't understand," Stiles frowned, "I thought werewolves were supposed to be super into bondage and stuff. You're so…<i>vanilla</i>."</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 Times Derek and Stiles Use Handcuffs and 1 Time the Law Is Involved

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Suica](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suica/gifts).
  * Translation into Русский available: [5 раз, когда Дерек и Стайлз использовали наручники, и 1 раз, когда они сделали это в рамках закона](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5108738) by [Nymphalidae_Danainae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nymphalidae_Danainae/pseuds/Nymphalidae_Danainae)



> Written for a prompt given by [RogueMarieL](http://archiveofourown.org/users/RogueMarieL); it started out as a joke and somehow turned into a drabble. I actually wrote [a longer fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4089940) in response to the same prompt.

**-1-**

At the sound of the front door opening and closing, Stiles stopped fiddling with the restraints and stretched himself out on the sheets in what was hopefully an alluring manner. "I'm in the bedroom," he called unnecessarily, as though Derek couldn't hear his heartbeat from across town if he wanted to.

Derek opened the bedroom door and froze. " _Stiles_ ," he managed through gritted teeth. "Are those my _work handcuffs?_ "

"Well, it's not like we have another set, do we?" Stiles replied reasonably.

" _Stiles._ "

"Come on, you're a _deputy_ , we _have_ to have kinky handcuff sex."

Derek sighed, then rallied himself admirably. "At least do it _right_."

They didn't get around to the sex, but they _did_ have a very interesting conversation about handcuff safety. That was pretty fun, too.

**-2-**

Derek did have a point, Stiles conceded as he experimented with a different position. Derek's handcuffs, though carrying the merit of authenticity, were not very conducive to his plans for mind-numbing pleasure.

"Derek," he called, "how do you feel about ordering some in?"

"Sure," came the response, floating up from the living room. "Chinese?"

Stiles smiled. Derek had the best ideas.

**-3-**

"Do you prefer the pink, leopard-print, fuzzy handcuffs or the purple, sparkly, plastic ones?"

_"No."_

**-4-**

Stiles was painstakingly arranging his brand new sets of specialty handcuffs when Derek padded into the room on all fours. The two stared at each other blankly.

"Uh," said Stiles, eyeing his boyfriend's distinctly lupine shape. "We're not gonna do the xeno thing, are we?"

Derek tore his eyes away from where they’d been frozen on the handcuff display and tilted his head inquiringly.

"You know, like...you and me doing it while you're all..." he waved his hand at Derek's furry form, "...wolfy."

Derek reared back in horror.

"I mean," Stiles continued thoughtfully, "it's really hot in porn and stuff, I'm just not sure I'm ready for--"

Derek turned around and walked back out of the room, shaking his head.

"Maybe later?" Stiles called.

**-5-**

"I don't understand," Stiles frowned, "I thought werewolves were supposed to be super into bondage and stuff. You're so… _vanilla_."

"Everyone is different," Derek replied, clearly offended. "With different preferences. I'm sorry you were under the impression that my species determines my kinks."

"Hey." Stiles reached over and ran his fingers through Derek's thick hair. "It doesn't matter to me either way. It was a dumb assumption for me to have made."

"Yes," Derek grumbled, already relaxing under Stiles' hands. "It was." He turned a little and caught Stiles' lips with his own.

Stiles tilted his head, deepening the kiss gently, before suddenly pulling back as something occurred to him. "Is it okay if we leave the handcuffs up anyway? As like mood lighting or something?"

Derek rolled his eyes, but he muttered, "whatever," as he pulled Stiles back down, so Stiles counted that as a win.

**+1**

“Oh, come on, this is barely even a crime!”

"You have the right to remain silent," Derek intoned, snapping the cuffs around Stiles' wrists.

"You know," Stiles mused, ignoring the spiel he'd had memorized since he was old enough to read the word 'Miranda,’ "this is a lot less sexy than I was expecting."

" _I am actually going to rip your throat out this time_ ," Derek hissed.

"Ooooh, there we go." Stiles grinned back at Derek. "Are you going to use your teeth?"

Derek snarled and dumped Stiles on an unsuspecting greenie. " _You_ deal with him before I end up snapping him in two."

Stiles giggled and winked at Derek as the greenie uncertainly directed him into the back of a cruiser.

'See you,' he mouthed. As the cruiser drove away to the station, he could see Derek shaking his head into his hands, ears red.

**-END-**

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: _Derek is a deputy. Stiles always finds himself at crime scenes. Derek probably arrests him at least once._


End file.
